Don't Be "That" Friend

“Today sucks.  Hit the snooze button one too many times, was late for work.  Then skid my car in the rain and bumped it.  Like that wasn’t bad enough, got stuck in the work lifts and was stranded for 2 hours.   Midday now.  Good morning, welcome to my day.”

That was a Facebook post.  And it wasn’t yours.  It was that friend.  That friend who always has something to complain about in life and social media has given them yet another outlet to tell the world how miserable his/her life is.  Do you have a friend like that?  More importantly, are you "that friend”?

Admittedly, I’m not one who likes to complain about my life in public forums.  In fact, some may go so far to say that I put on a public display of being overtly positive and making life sound too unrealistic.  Here’s the thing.  Words matter.  Our words are an expression of our thoughts.  So, it does matter what we say to ourselves and to others.  The narrative inside our heads matter.  In light of that, I would rather be the forever ‘optimist’ to encourage than carry a ‘victim’ narrative that fuels negativity.  Why though?

A few years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to Caroline Leaf’s videos.  Caroline is a neuroscientist who advocates the studies of neuroplasticity.  ^"Neuroplasticity is a new scientific discovery proving that we can literally change our brains through our thoughts and choices. We can physically create new neural pathways and destroy old ones. We can wire out toxic beliefs, experiences, and thinking patterns and wire in truths, good habits, and outstanding thinking patterns.” 

"Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”  ~Philippians 4:8

This well-known Scripture verse might as well be one of those Instagram quotes #qotd but if you ask yourself if it’s so simple and easy, you may be confronted by the fact that we don’t ALWAYS fill our minds with such things (well, not nearly enough, I dare say!)  If you buy into the idea and Caroline’s research into neuroplasticity, which I do, it’s true that we were designed to “think about such things”.

Most neuroscience studies will reveal that It takes 7 days for a committed thought to motivate behavioural change, 21 days for that behaviour to form and around 63 days for that behaviour to become a habit.  Commit today to think of all things excellent and praiseworthy.

Don’t be ‘that friend’, my friend 🙂

Today, I encourage you to be aware of your mind’s narrative.  Yes, for the ENTIRE DAY.



When you catch yourself doubting, ask yourself, “Is it true?"
When you catch yourself wanting to cut corners to achieve something, as yourself, “Is it noble?”
When you catch yourself wanting to be right, ask yourself, “is it right (to want to be right)?”
When you catch yourself judging someone else, as yourself, “Are you pure?”
When you look around you, ask yourself, “Am I breathing the lovely creation of our admirable Creator God?”